How to Say You Do Not Understand in a Parent Teacher Reply
When you receive a message from a teacher and you do not understand what they mean, the most direct and helpful reply is one that clearly states your confusion without sounding rude or unprepared. You can say something like, “I am sorry, but I do not fully understand what you mean. Could you please explain it in a different way?” This keeps the conversation respectful and focused on finding a solution. This guide will give you the exact phrases, tone advice, and practice you need to handle this situation in any parent-teacher reply.
Quick Answer: What to Say When You Do Not Understand
If you need a fast, safe reply, use one of these three sentences. They work in almost any parent-teacher situation.
- Formal email: “Thank you for your message. I am afraid I do not fully understand the point about [specific topic]. Could you kindly clarify?”
- Informal email or message: “Sorry, I’m not sure I follow. Can you explain that part again?”
- In person or on the phone: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you say it again, please?”
These phrases are polite, clear, and show that you want to understand, not that you are ignoring the teacher.
Understanding the Situation: Why You Might Not Understand
There are several common reasons why a parent might not understand a teacher’s reply. The teacher might use educational terms you are not familiar with, such as “differentiated instruction” or “behavioral intervention plan.” The message might be long and contain several points at once. Sometimes, the teacher assumes you already know certain background information. In other cases, the tone of the message can be confusing—for example, a teacher might write something that sounds critical when they only mean to inform. Knowing the reason helps you choose the right way to ask for clarification.
Common Scenarios Where You Need to Say You Do Not Understand
- Unclear feedback about your child’s progress: The teacher says your child is “struggling with executive function,” but you do not know what that means.
- A request you cannot follow: The teacher asks you to “reinforce the learning objectives at home,” but you are not sure what activities to do.
- A confusing schedule change: The teacher mentions a “modified block schedule” without explaining how it affects pick-up times.
- A complaint or concern that is vague: The teacher writes, “There have been some social challenges,” but does not give examples.
In each case, your goal is to get the information you need without making the teacher feel that you are criticizing their communication.
Formal vs. Informal Tone: Which One Should You Use?
Your choice of words depends on how well you know the teacher and the channel you are using. Email is generally more formal than a quick message through a school app. In-person conversations can be slightly more relaxed, but still respectful.
| Situation | Recommended Tone | Example Phrase |
|---|---|---|
| First email to a teacher | Formal | “I appreciate your detailed reply. However, I am not entirely clear on the term ‘scaffolding.’ Could you please explain it?” |
| Follow-up email after a meeting | Semi-formal | “Thanks for the notes. I just want to check—did you mean that the homework should be done every night, or only on weekdays?” |
| Quick message on school app | Informal but polite | “Sorry, I’m a bit confused about the science project due date. Can you confirm?” |
| Face-to-face conversation | Neutral | “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that last part. Could you repeat it?” |
When in doubt, start with a formal tone. You can always become more casual if the teacher responds in a relaxed way.
Natural Examples for Real Situations
Here are complete examples you can adapt. Each one shows a different way to say you do not understand.
Example 1: Unclear Educational Term
Teacher’s message: “We are using a multi-tiered system of supports to address your child’s reading needs.”
Your reply: “Thank you for letting me know. I am not familiar with the term ‘multi-tiered system of supports.’ Could you please explain what that means for my child’s daily reading time?”
Example 2: Confusing Request
Teacher’s message: “Please ensure your child completes the nightly fluency practice.”
Your reply: “I want to help with this, but I am not sure what ‘fluency practice’ involves. Do you mean reading aloud for a set time, or is there a specific worksheet?”
Example 3: Vague Concern
Teacher’s message: “There have been some issues with focus during group work.”
Your reply: “Thank you for the update. Could you give me one or two specific examples of what you have observed? That would help me understand better.”
Example 4: Long Email with Multiple Points
Teacher’s message: A long paragraph covering homework, behavior, and a field trip permission slip.
Your reply: “Thank you for the detailed email. I understood the part about the field trip, but I am not clear on the homework change. Did you say it is due on Friday or next Monday?”
Common Mistakes Parents Make When They Do Not Understand
Many parents make the mistake of pretending they understand to avoid appearing slow. This can lead to bigger problems later, such as missing a deadline or misunderstanding a teacher’s concern. Here are other common errors.
- Mistake 1: Saying “I don’t understand” without any context. This can sound abrupt. Instead, say what part you do not understand. For example, “I don’t understand the part about the reading log.”
- Mistake 2: Using overly casual language in a formal email. Phrases like “Huh?” or “What do you mean?” can seem disrespectful. Use “Could you clarify?” or “I am not sure I follow.”
- Mistake 3: Apologizing too much. Saying “I’m so sorry, I’m so stupid, I just don’t get it” makes you seem less confident. A simple “I am sorry, but I need a little more explanation” is enough.
- Mistake 4: Guessing and acting on a wrong assumption. If you are unsure, always ask. It is better to ask twice than to do the wrong thing.
Better Alternatives to Common Phrases
Sometimes the first phrase that comes to mind is not the most effective. Here are better alternatives for common situations.
When you want to say “I don’t get it”
- Avoid: “I don’t get it.”
- Better: “I am having trouble understanding this part. Could you explain it differently?”
When you want to say “What?”
- Avoid: “What?” (in person or on the phone)
- Better: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you repeat it?”
When you want to say “That doesn’t make sense”
- Avoid: “That doesn’t make sense.” (This can sound like you are blaming the teacher.)
- Better: “I am trying to understand, but I am not seeing the connection. Can you help me?”
When you want to say “Can you say it again?”
- Avoid: “Can you say it again?” (This is fine, but it does not tell the teacher what to focus on.)
- Better: “Could you repeat the part about the homework schedule? I want to make sure I have it right.”
When to Use Each Type of Reply
Choosing the right reply depends on the situation. Here is a quick guide.
- Use a direct question when you know exactly what you do not understand. Example: “What does ‘differentiated instruction’ mean?”
- Use a polite request for rephrasing when the whole message is confusing. Example: “Could you explain that in a different way? I am having trouble following.”
- Use a confirmation question when you think you understand but are not sure. Example: “Just to confirm, do you mean that the project is due on the 15th?”
- Use an apology + request when you feel you should have understood but did not. Example: “I apologize, but I am still not clear on the behavior plan. Could you go over it one more time?”
Mini Practice: 4 Questions with Answers
Test yourself. Read each situation and choose the best reply. Then check the answer below.
Question 1: The teacher writes, “We are implementing a token economy system in the classroom.” You do not know what this means. What do you reply?
A) “What is a token economy?”
B) “I don’t understand that at all.”
C) “Thank you for the information. Could you explain what a token economy system looks like in the classroom?”
Answer: C. It is polite, specific, and shows you want to learn.
Question 2: You are talking to the teacher at a school event, and she says something quickly that you miss. What do you say?
A) “Huh?”
B) “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you say it again?”
C) “Can you repeat everything?”
Answer: B. It is polite and natural for a face-to-face conversation.
Question 3: The teacher sends a long email with three different requests. You understand two of them but not the third. What do you do?
A) Reply that you do not understand the whole email.
B) Reply and ask only about the third request.
C) Ignore the email and hope it becomes clear later.
Answer: B. This is efficient and shows you paid attention to the other parts.
Question 4: The teacher says, “Your child needs to work on self-regulation.” You think you know what it means, but you are not sure. What is the best reply?
A) “Okay, I will work on that.”
B) “I think I understand, but just to be sure, could you give me an example of what you mean by self-regulation?”
C) “That doesn’t make sense to me.”
Answer: B. It confirms your understanding without assuming.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it rude to tell a teacher I do not understand?
No, it is not rude if you use polite language. Teachers prefer that you ask for clarification rather than remain confused. It shows you are engaged and want to support your child.
2. What if I still do not understand after the teacher explains again?
It is okay to say, “Thank you for explaining. I am still a little unclear. Could we try a different example?” You can also ask for a written summary or a short meeting.
3. Should I always apologize when I do not understand?
You do not need to apologize excessively. One simple “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” at the beginning is enough. Too many apologies can make the conversation awkward.
4. Can I use these phrases in a message on a school app?
Yes. For school apps, keep your message short and polite. For example: “Thanks for the update. I’m not sure what ‘morning meeting’ means. Can you explain?”
Final Tips for Success
When you do not understand a teacher’s reply, remember these three things. First, be specific about what confuses you. Second, use polite language that shows respect. Third, ask for what you need, whether that is a simpler explanation, an example, or a repetition. By following these guidelines, you will build better communication with your child’s teacher and avoid misunderstandings that can affect your child’s learning. For more help with starting a reply, visit our Parent Teacher Reply Starters section. If you need to make a polite request for more information, check Parent Teacher Reply Polite Requests. For additional practice, see Parent Teacher Reply Practice Replies. You can also read our FAQ for common questions or review our Editorial Policy to understand how we create these guides.
