Mentor Magic: 18 Secrets to Unlocking a Powerful Partnership

[Ben Lichtenwalner]

01​

Choose Your Champion: Self-Select Your Mentor​

The best mentoring relationships can come from self-identified pairs. Find opportunities for prospective pairs to meet and self-select. Already have a designated mentor or mentee? Who said you can only have one?

02​

Goal Evolution: Adapt as You Grow​

Most mentees don’t have fully defined goals at the start. It’s okay if your goals begin with something simple. Then, evolve your goals to be more specific as you strengthen the relationship.

03​

Beyond Business: Share Personal Ambitions​

Don’t be so formal. Mentoring relationships, like financial advisor relationships, are more effective when we have the full picture. You can help most with professional advice, when you know each other as whole persons.

04​

Personality Power: Understand Each Other​

Have you taken a personality assessment? Share it with each other. Understanding how you both think and act in different situations will help you construct and receive feedback for maximum impact.

05​

Clock In: Value Each Other’s Time​

Your time is valuable. So is their time. Don’t be late and don’t change plans last minute, if at all possible. Doing so, especially repeatedly, suggests you do not value the relationship.

06​

Plan Topics: Preparedness Pays Off​

Come prepared with topics. This should be the responsibility of the mentee. However, the best mentors have backup topics prepared. This is especially true with newer, less experienced, and introverted mentees.

07​

Reflections: Revisit Past Conversations​

Before each meeting, take a few minutes to read through the suggestions you received or offered last time. Did the mentee take actions based on them? If not, why not and how does that impact the discussion this time?

08​

Get Out: Change the Scene​

Meeting at the workplace is convenient. It’s also boring and formal. Change the setting by going out for coffee or lunch. Getting out of the workplace environment can relax many people and encourage more open dialogue.

09​

Action Speaks: Apply Advice​

You don’t have to do everything you were taught or told, but if you routinely ignore insights and advice, why are you both committing time to the relationship? Make sure to take action based on what you share and learn.

10​

Unique Paths: Share More Than You Advise​

They are not you. Don’t say, “If I were you….”. Instead offer, “here’s a similar situation I experienced and how I approached the matter”. Provide experiences more than direction.

11​

Critical Thinking: Inquire, Don’t Impose​

Frame guidance in the form of questions. Don’t say, “That was a bad decision.” Instead, ask, “What do you think of that decision?” Questions encourage the other person to think critically rather than shutdown dialogue.

12​

Fable Teaching: Tell Stories​

We remember stories more than advice. The best mentors teach through fables. Try to do the same and let your mentees extract their own lessons from your stories. The lesson will last longer with greater impact.

13​

Network Nudge: Extend Your Reach​

Mentors are great people. They are not gods. They won’t have all the answers. Find someone who can help if you can not. If your mentor doesn’t know, ask them if they know someone who can help.

14​

Ego Check: Learn More with Humility​

You may both bring ego into a mentoring relationship. Stop it. Yes, you are both amazing people. No, neither of you are superhuman. The less ego you have in a mentoring relationship the more you will both benefit from it.

15​

Outside Insight: Seek External Guidance​

If you struggle to connect in a mentoring relationship, ask a third party for advice. Some organizations specialize in leadership development and mentoring programs. Or, ask someone else whose opinion you respect.

16​

Survey Says: Quantify Success​

Mentoring benefits are mostly qualitative. This makes tracking benefits of mentoring programs difficult. To close this gap, survey participants. Well structured questions will also help participants build stronger connections.

17​

Be True: Practice Authenticity​

Pretending to be something you’re not will only produce the wrong guidance. There are 8 Billion people in the world. There is only one you. You are who you are and where you are for a reason. Be you.

18​

Patience Matters: Value the Journey​

Mentoring is an amazing opportunity for both parties. So, we can be anxious to quickly impress each other and extract all possible value. Don’t. The best mentoring relationships take time. Take your time. You’ll be glad you did.

BONUS​

Bonus: Have Fun!​

Workplace mentoring programs focus on professional development. That doesn’t mean you have to be stuffy or formal. My best mentors and mentees became lifelong friends, because we had fun.

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